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As life goes by and the nest empties

Started by sevenof400, February 22, 2015, 10:35:22 am

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sevenof400

Good morning all,

Lately I haven't been spending as much time on FF as I have HV.  I'm not sure exactly why this is but there are a good number of folks here on FF with whom I have missed our conversations and for that, let me extend my apologies.  Although there are fewer regular posters on FF as compared to HV, the total wisdom here far surpasses that on HV and with that in mind allow me to ask for thoughts, insights and comments on the following:

Click here (and please I am linking to this HV post and not pasting it here to save a bit of space). 

As much as we may think they don't, the times are always changing.  Sometimes perhaps, so slowly we can't even see it but yet change occurs all around us. 

Valleysports

Have to log in to HV to get the link up.  Copy and paste the main theme?

sevenof400

Forgot about that Valley - thanks for the heads up!
Here it is:

In another thread, Gawntrail made the following comment:
QuoteTransitioning from kids in house to empty nest makes one think about what is most important in a new place.

I'm not quite as far along as Gawntrail in this process (meaning the nest is emptying, not yet emptied) but I'm already dreading the day the nest is empty.  For as many plans, hopes and dreams as our family has had throughout the years with respect to our kids, the wife and I have never really thought about this transition period.  Moving from a full nest to an empty one - with a good block of time before we can retire - is a period of life that just never entered into our thinking.

Certainly that's our fault for not being thorough in our planning but at the same time, I wonder if people really consider this transition time (from empty nest to retirement) as they make life plans.

In reflecting on life's events and trends up to (and including) present day, something I truly wish I had handled better is the management of interests and hobbies.  When I think back to life before our kids, we always had something going on.  As the kids came along, our interests and hobbies slowly (but steadily) faded away - replaced by the activities, sports and pursuits related to our children. 

How do you put the genie back in the bottle after all these years (so to speak)?  How does one pick up where they left off all those years ago with their interests and hobbies - or does one just look for new interests and hobbies considering that we may not be the same person today we were so many years ago? 

I wish I could recall who said this in another thread (as I would give them proper credit for a very wise observation) but their quote went something like this: as I get older, I find myself having less time and patience with other people. 

In the end, I'm curious about how others view and handled this transition in life.  Sorry to ramble on a Sunday morning......

Valleysports

Poster's are spot on - we've gone empty nest over the last 2 yrs and I retired 2 months ago, because of the devastating effect it's had on me.  Those plans, hopes, & dreams, are what's thrown me.  All of a sudden I just want to live another 20 yrs, until I'm ricepig's age.  I realize why some people should not retire or retire, then go back to work - thankfully I'm not one of those.  Grandchildren are the safety net - one reason I retired.  I'm in a steep learning curve, but I've discovered that you have to have a routine - get up and go somewhere in the morning, to get the day started.  If you don't, it'll be noon before you know it.  I've just picked my coffee/breakfast club at a local mom n pops.  LOL  These clubs are all over town.  Hobbies change - I'm playing Pickle Ball, still hit the weights & jog, duck/deer hunt (many acres of food plots to maintain).  I'm glad I've always enjoyed training - part of that routine now.  I'll have to see what all four season's bring - but Crappie Fishing is coming, Turkey Hunting, golf, flying, motorcycling, might take some trips,,, maybe I need some direction.  ha ha   


Breitontime

I don't know if you in your old age, or that V-Rod can hang, but we're riding up to Sturgis this summer.

Valleysports

February 22, 2015, 09:08:15 pm #5 Last Edit: February 22, 2015, 09:40:46 pm by Valleysports
LOL - I went back and added the motorcycle, just to see if I'd get an invite. 

Seven - I just got a call from a coworker, retired when I did.  He's bored.  But he waited too long to retire - arthritis has set in.

Lions84

My Kid is a JR and if her SR year goes bye as fast as her Jr one has I will be empty nested sooner than I expected.

sevenof400

Is your (current) junior daughter your youngest, Lions84?

Lions84

Quote from: sevenof400 on March 06, 2015, 12:26:48 pm
Is your (current) junior daughter your youngest, Lions84?

She is our only one. Mommy's oven broke and we never were able to have anymore.

Lions84

Well I reread this and I am sure now I am not as excited as I was about her becoming a SR this Fall 2015. The Time gone bye too fast.

sevenof400

Quote from: Lions84 on April 14, 2015, 10:58:12 am
Well I reread this and I am sure now I am not as excited as I was about her becoming a SR this Fall 2015. The Time gone bye too fast.

Indeed it does Lions84.  In two years, all of ours will be gone - either off to college or in the military. 

Valleysports

Honestly getting old sucks, Lions84 - but the only thing we can do is go after this next chapter as enthusiastic as the last.  After taking my bride out on the town this evening (4pm), we dropped in on our grandbabies for a quick fix.  It's gonna happen - only thing we can control is how we approach it...

fastdrop

Quote from: Valleysports on February 22, 2015, 06:44:50 pm
Poster's are spot on - we've gone empty nest over the last 2 yrs and I retired 2 months ago, because of the devastating effect it's had on me.  Those plans, hopes, & dreams, are what's thrown me.  All of a sudden I just want to live another 20 yrs, until I'm ricepig's age.  I realize why some people should not retire or retire, then go back to work - thankfully I'm not one of those.  Grandchildren are the safety net - one reason I retired.  I'm in a steep learning curve, but I've discovered that you have to have a routine - get up and go somewhere in the morning, to get the day started.  If you don't, it'll be noon before you know it.  I've just picked my coffee/breakfast club at a local mom n pops.  LOL  These clubs are all over town.  Hobbies change - I'm playing Pickle Ball, still hit the weights & jog, duck/deer hunt (many acres of food plots to maintain).  I'm glad I've always enjoyed training - part of that routine now.  I'll have to see what all four season's bring - but Crappie Fishing is coming, Turkey Hunting, golf, flying, motorcycling, might take some trips,,, maybe I need some direction.  ha ha   


Retire - Naw -- Heck no. Heck no again. When I can't get it done anymore I think I will got myself lost among a billion chinese and eat rice until the good lord takes pity on me and brings me home.

fastdrop

Valley - go to this site for your crappie fishing. Dude they are catching monsters on your local lake.

http://www.crappie.com/crappie/arkansas/


ricepig

Quote from: fastdrop on April 15, 2015, 08:17:50 am
Quote from: Valleysports on February 22, 2015, 06:44:50 pm
Poster's are spot on - we've gone empty nest over the last 2 yrs and I retired 2 months ago, because of the devastating effect it's had on me.  Those plans, hopes, & dreams, are what's thrown me.  All of a sudden I just want to live another 20 yrs, until I'm ricepig's age.  I realize why some people should not retire or retire, then go back to work - thankfully I'm not one of those.  Grandchildren are the safety net - one reason I retired.  I'm in a steep learning curve, but I've discovered that you have to have a routine - get up and go somewhere in the morning, to get the day started.  If you don't, it'll be noon before you know it.  I've just picked my coffee/breakfast club at a local mom n pops.  LOL  These clubs are all over town.  Hobbies change - I'm playing Pickle Ball, still hit the weights & jog, duck/deer hunt (many acres of food plots to maintain).  I'm glad I've always enjoyed training - part of that routine now.  I'll have to see what all four season's bring - but Crappie Fishing is coming, Turkey Hunting, golf, flying, motorcycling, might take some trips,,, maybe I need some direction.  ha ha   


Retire - Naw -- Heck no. Heck no again. When I can't get it done anymore I think I will got myself lost among a billion chinese and eat rice until the good lord takes pity on me and brings me home.

You got something against eating rice? My oldest goes to China the day after he graduates for 3 weeks, part of his MBA program, 3 weeks for 6 hours of credit.

Lions84

Quote from: Valleysports on April 14, 2015, 08:39:45 pm
Honestly getting old sucks, Lions84 - but the only thing we can do is go after this next chapter as enthusiastic as the last.  After taking my bride out on the town this evening (4pm), we dropped in on our grandbabies for a quick fix.  It's gonna happen - only thing we can control is how we approach it...

Right in about 8 years we will both be retired and I hoping to move back to Arkansas.

Valleysports

Quote from: fastdrop on April 15, 2015, 08:25:58 am
Valley - go to this site for your crappie fishing. Dude they are catching monsters on your local lake.

http://www.crappie.com/crappie/arkansas/

Who do you think THEY is?  If I see those guys tomorrow, I'm gonna tell them to stop flapping their gums!   ;D

fastdrop

Quote from: Valleysports on April 15, 2015, 03:42:19 pm
Quote from: fastdrop on April 15, 2015, 08:25:58 am
Valley - go to this site for your crappie fishing. Dude they are catching monsters on your local lake.

http://www.crappie.com/crappie/arkansas/

Who do you think THEY is?  If I see those guys tomorrow, I'm gonna tell them to stop flapping their gums!   ;D

LOL...too late. THEY sure know how to catch them.

fastdrop

Quote from: ricepig on April 15, 2015, 02:59:02 pm
Quote from: fastdrop on April 15, 2015, 08:17:50 am
Quote from: Valleysports on February 22, 2015, 06:44:50 pm
Poster's are spot on - we've gone empty nest over the last 2 yrs and I retired 2 months ago, because of the devastating effect it's had on me.  Those plans, hopes, & dreams, are what's thrown me.  All of a sudden I just want to live another 20 yrs, until I'm ricepig's age.  I realize why some people should not retire or retire, then go back to work - thankfully I'm not one of those.  Grandchildren are the safety net - one reason I retired.  I'm in a steep learning curve, but I've discovered that you have to have a routine - get up and go somewhere in the morning, to get the day started.  If you don't, it'll be noon before you know it.  I've just picked my coffee/breakfast club at a local mom n pops.  LOL  These clubs are all over town.  Hobbies change - I'm playing Pickle Ball, still hit the weights & jog, duck/deer hunt (many acres of food plots to maintain).  I'm glad I've always enjoyed training - part of that routine now.  I'll have to see what all four season's bring - but Crappie Fishing is coming, Turkey Hunting, golf, flying, motorcycling, might take some trips,,, maybe I need some direction.  ha ha   


Retire - Naw -- Heck no. Heck no again. When I can't get it done anymore I think I will got myself lost among a billion chinese and eat rice until the good lord takes pity on me and brings me home.

You got something against eating rice? My oldest goes to China the day after he graduates for 3 weeks, part of his MBA program, 3 weeks for 6 hours of credit.
He will have a good time. Good deal for him. He better make some friends since they own us. HA

My son is in Germany for 8 weeks learning some secret logistical operating system they are putting in a factory outside of KC. Who would of ever thunk it.

ricepig

Quote from: fastdrop on April 15, 2015, 04:53:15 pm
Quote from: ricepig on April 15, 2015, 02:59:02 pm
Quote from: fastdrop on April 15, 2015, 08:17:50 am
Quote from: Valleysports on February 22, 2015, 06:44:50 pm
Poster's are spot on - we've gone empty nest over the last 2 yrs and I retired 2 months ago, because of the devastating effect it's had on me.  Those plans, hopes, & dreams, are what's thrown me.  All of a sudden I just want to live another 20 yrs, until I'm ricepig's age.  I realize why some people should not retire or retire, then go back to work - thankfully I'm not one of those.  Grandchildren are the safety net - one reason I retired.  I'm in a steep learning curve, but I've discovered that you have to have a routine - get up and go somewhere in the morning, to get the day started.  If you don't, it'll be noon before you know it.  I've just picked my coffee/breakfast club at a local mom n pops.  LOL  These clubs are all over town.  Hobbies change - I'm playing Pickle Ball, still hit the weights & jog, duck/deer hunt (many acres of food plots to maintain).  I'm glad I've always enjoyed training - part of that routine now.  I'll have to see what all four season's bring - but Crappie Fishing is coming, Turkey Hunting, golf, flying, motorcycling, might take some trips,,, maybe I need some direction.  ha ha   


Retire - Naw -- Heck no. Heck no again. When I can't get it done anymore I think I will got myself lost among a billion chinese and eat rice until the good lord takes pity on me and brings me home.

You got something against eating rice? My oldest goes to China the day after he graduates for 3 weeks, part of his MBA program, 3 weeks for 6 hours of credit.
He will have a good time. Good deal for him. He better make some friends since they own us. HA

My son is in Germany for 8 weeks learning some secret logistical operating system they are putting in a factory outside of KC. Who would of ever thunk it.

Well, he really wanted to go to Brazil and the beach, but they were slow on letting him know, so he signed up for the China trip. Naturally after he accepted the China trip, they told him he was good for Brazil. I told him that would be one of many of his "disappointments" in life, lol. He actually thinks the China trip will be better, except for the beach thingy.

Lions84

Good for him we have moved into a Global Economy.

Lions84

Brother my daughter had her last Friday of school and will finish her JR year Thursday.  Me and Momma are getting prepped for College Schollies paperwork and applications.  I found a photo on my work PC today and wondered where did the time gone.


cuckoobird

2 more months and my nest will be empty. I just hope my wife still likes me when I'm the only one around

Valleysports

Quote from: cuckoobird on June 02, 2015, 09:19:27 am
2 more months and my nest will be empty. I just hope my wife still likes me when I'm the only one around

Lot of truth in that statement - needle seems to fall one way or the other after kids leave or retirement.  Have seen a lot of men discover their wife had been scheming, for years, once they met her financial goals.  Best to keep her allowance below Walmart Wages!

cuckoobird

Quote from: Valleysports on June 02, 2015, 11:18:43 am
Quote from: cuckoobird on June 02, 2015, 09:19:27 am
2 more months and my nest will be empty. I just hope my wife still likes me when I'm the only one around

Lot of truth in that statement - needle seems to fall one way or the other after kids leave or retirement.  Have seen a lot of men discover their wife had been scheming, for years, once they met her financial goals.  Best to keep her allowance below Walmart Wages!
I don't have to worry about the financial part, you can't get something from nothing....

ricepig

Quote from: Valleysports on June 02, 2015, 11:18:43 am
Quote from: cuckoobird on June 02, 2015, 09:19:27 am
2 more months and my nest will be empty. I just hope my wife still likes me when I'm the only one around

Lot of truth in that statement - needle seems to fall one way or the other after kids leave or retirement.  Have seen a lot of men discover their wife had been scheming, for years, once they met her financial goals.  Best to keep her allowance below Walmart Wages!

A good friend of mine told me it wasn't the money they weren't making when your wife quit her job, it was the money she couldn't spend while she was working!

sixthman

Quote from: cuckoobird on June 02, 2015, 09:19:27 am
2 more months and my nest will be empty. I just hope my wife still likes me when I'm the only one around

My wife and I will be trasitioning to the empty nest in the next two plus years. Though I will miss our kids when they get out of the house, I'm looking forward to the next chapter of our lives. Our kids are able to kind of do their own thing now and it has given me a taste of what it will be like to have her all to myself again. I kinda like that thought.

Lions84

Me and the wife been talking about what we will do after our daughter goes to college a year from now.

cuckoobird

Buying a camper to do some traveling. Albeit to follow the son at different college venues but still getting out of the house

phdefense

Quote from: cuckoobird on September 01, 2015, 10:31:10 am
Buying a camper to do some traveling. Albeit to follow the son at different college venues but still getting out of the house
Where did Cuckoo Jr. end up at?

cuckoobird


Lions84

First game of the Fall was last week down here and the SR Express has pulled out of the Station and it gaining speed.

Valleysports

You're going to kill over when she gets married!  :-\

Lions84

Quote from: Valleysports on September 03, 2015, 01:07:57 pm
You're going to kill over when she gets married!  :-\

She moved awful slow with any boys. She gets a BF for Homecoming and usually breaks up a month later.  She is a serious student.

Valleysports

Oh you've got a lot to learn - haha.  I've had two serious student daughters, one is still in med school.  Serious BF for several years, means no incentive to come home.  And now the son has a GF.  Mom's cooking has competition!   :'(

Lions84

Did my Last Cheerleader & Parent night for the Booster Club at the Concession Stand.   Time is marching own.

I cooked 200 hamburgers and 150 hot dogs.

sevenof400

Quote from: Lions84 on September 04, 2015, 11:52:51 am
Did my Last Cheerleader & Parent night for the Booster Club at the Concession Stand.   Time is marching own.

I cooked 200 hamburgers and 150 hot dogs.

Wouldn't you hate to know how many you have cooked over the years?   ;)

Lions84

Quote from: sevenof400 on September 04, 2015, 11:57:47 am
Quote from: Lions84 on September 04, 2015, 11:52:51 am
Did my Last Cheerleader & Parent night for the Booster Club at the Concession Stand.   Time is marching own.

I cooked 200 hamburgers and 150 hot dogs.

Wouldn't you hate to know how many you have cooked over the years?   ;)

More than I want to try and count.

We are having an early HC this week for her SR year. 

PrivateLesson

I don't know if my son will ever be able to live on his own.   I know if he is able, that would be a blessing for him and many answered prayers to be functionally independent and ultimately I pray for those skills for him but I don't know if I could handle him not being with me.  I know God will have to provide.   My son is my life. 

Lions84

Quote from: PrivateLesson on September 18, 2015, 05:18:32 am
I don't know if my son will ever be able to live on his own.   I know if he is able, that would be a blessing for him and many answered prayers to be functionally independent and ultimately I pray for those skills for him but I don't know if I could handle him not being with me.  I know God will have to provide.   My son is my life. 

Prayers sent for you.

Lions84

Game 4 is on TAP tonite in Fort Worth . The Girls are trying to cheer the boys on to even their record at 2-2. Homecoming was great and she got a mum almost as long as she is tall. Scholarship Adution coming up Oct 2nd for a full ride scholarship. 

fastdrop

As much as we may think they don't, the times are always changing.  Sometimes perhaps, so slowly we can't even see it but yet change occurs all around us.

HUH, somebody would have to be in a comma to think life is slowly changing. 

fastdrop

Quote from: Valleysports on September 03, 2015, 10:46:54 pm
Oh you've got a lot to learn - haha.  I've had two serious student daughters, one is still in med school.  Serious BF for several years, means no incentive to come home.  And now the son has a GF.  Mom's cooking has competition!   :'(
I am finding it nice. As long as I get a text every now and then I am a happy camper. Think I will go fishing today.

ricepig

Quote from: fastdrop on September 19, 2015, 06:58:20 am
Quote from: Valleysports on September 03, 2015, 10:46:54 pm
Oh you've got a lot to learn - haha.  I've had two serious student daughters, one is still in med school.  Serious BF for several years, means no incentive to come home.  And now the son has a GF.  Mom's cooking has competition!   :'(
I am finding it nice. As long as I get a text every now and then I am a happy camper. Think I will go fishing today.

I've got one that will text/return a text every time, another that I'm lucky to hear from once a week, haha. At least the baby is still under my thumb.......

sevenof400

Quote from: fastdrop on September 19, 2015, 06:54:43 am
As much as we may think they don't, the times are always changing.  Sometimes perhaps, so slowly we can't even see it but yet change occurs all around us.

HUH, somebody would have to be in a comma to think life is slowly changing. 

You have aroused the interest of literacy teachers with that assertion Fastdrop!

cuckoobird

Ever since my youngest went to college, I've actually talk to him more then when he was at home. He calls me every day and sometimes twice a day

Valleysports

Yeah my youngest one (he) and I have been getting closer, but the other two going, going, gone.

sevenof400

I suppose like anything else, relationships change over time.  When it's your own kids, it can be hard to accept but when I look back on my own life - when I hit the ages my kids are now - my relationships with my parents changed to.  I guess its natural - and not always favorable.

Something else I've noticed is a narrowing of things that interest me as the years go by.  In other words, I just don't find a lot of satisfaction in nearly as many things as I used to.  Now that my kids are pretty much done with youth sports (and our spare time is increasing), it has become hard to find pastimes and activities to fill the void that once was occupied with many hours watching our kids play various sports over the years. 

Some may say the lesson here is not to become so involve in your kids' sports but I can't agree with that.  So many hours and places we visited and shared success and failure (and hopefully learned from it) would be hard to duplicate in any other way. 

ricepig

Quote from: Valleysports on September 20, 2015, 08:46:33 am
Yeah my youngest one (he) and I have been getting closer, but the other two going, going, gone.

Must be girl's, my middle one is the outlier, and my only girl. She drives me crazy, but, I just try to keep my mouth shut.......

ricepig

Quote from: sevenof400 on September 20, 2015, 10:21:47 am
I suppose like anything else, relationships change over time.  When it's your own kids, it can be hard to accept but when I look back on my own life - when I hit the ages my kids are now - my relationships with my parents changed to.  I guess its natural - and not always favorable.

Something else I've noticed is a narrowing of things that interest me as the years go by.  In other words, I just don't find a lot of satisfaction in nearly as many things as I used to.  Now that my kids are pretty much done with youth sports (and our spare time is increasing), it has become hard to find pastimes and activities to fill the void that once was occupied with many hours watching our kids play various sports over the years. 

Some may say the lesson here is not to become so involve in your kids' sports but I can't agree with that.  So many hours and places we visited and shared success and failure (and hopefully learned from it) would be hard to duplicate in any other way.


While I don't have the Saturday morning games/practices etc, I still enjoy going to the high school games and watching. Although that is about to run out of kids who were younger siblings of those who played with mine.

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